“I was a drunkard, but then one day I met Jesus, and I gave up drinking. Now I serve the Lord.” “I was not a believer, but then one day I met Jesus, and now my faith is unshakable.” “I was a womaniser, and one day I met Jesus….”
These are the common patterns in the testimonies of conversion that we hear in the context of some renewal prayer sessions. These stories are very plausible, and they touch me. Nevertheless they also raise a lot of questions in me: what is the experience of Jesus like for people who are basically good? Is the experience of Jesus always followed by dramatic signs? If people are good – as most people are – do they not need a God experience in Jesus?
I am convinced that there is an inherent thirst (deepest desire) in every person to go beyond the here and now. This thirst can be satiated only in an experience of God. By virtue of the mystery of incarnation, the fulfilment of the thirst has been made possible in Jesus. The outcome of this satiation is salvation, which is marked by purification/healing, renunciation, justification. The signs of salvation are many: a deepening of faith; a sense of purpose and meaning (hope) in life; and an eagerness to share this hope with others in charity. And salvation is not just a one time event, but a process of continued experience. This journey is marked by some dimensions which are discernable in most gospel stories of people’s encounter with Jesus (see for instance, Mt 2:1-11; Lk 5:1-15; Lk 24:13-35; Jn 1:35-42; Jn 4:1-42; Jn 5:1-9; Jn 9:1-38). In the light of the gospel story of today I would like to explore, even if in a hurried manner, some of the dimensions of the encounter with God in Jesus. (Those of you who are familiar with my reflections might get bored. I am sorry for this repetition. I don’t see anything else more important in the gospel encounters – at least for now.)
The thirst: Zacchaeus was anxious to see Jesus (Lk 19:3)
Why did Zacchaeus want to see Jesus? It was perhaps a mere curiosity. But could this eagerness be an indication of something deeper – a thirst, a desire? And where does that desire come from? I think the source of that thirst is God Himself. The thirst arises from the truth that we are created in the image of God (Gen 1:27). Since we all bear the image of God – being in the nature of God – we want to reach our origin. As every river on the face of the earth, small and large, strives towards the great ocean, we all strive towards God. He is the alpha and the omega. St Augustineencapsulated this in his powerful statement: “Thou hast prompted man, that he should delight to praise thee, for thou hast made us for thyself and restless is our heart until it comes to rest in thee” (Confessions, 1,1; trans. Outler).
The search: He ran ahead (Lk 19:4a)
To fulfil that thirst Zacchaeus goes searching for Jesus. His search is similar to that of the Magi (Mt 2:1); it is similar to the search of John and Andrew who had left their flourishing fishing industry and had gone to live with John the Baptist (Jn 1:35); and it is similar to the woman who went to the well to satisfy her thirst (Jn 4:7). But Zacchaeus has two problems. First, he was short. The first problem is part of his person – a personal weakness, perhaps. The second problem is “because of the crowd.” This difficulty rises from his environment. The noise of the crowd, the size of the crowd, and the prejudice of the crowd against Zacchaeus, make it difficult for him to continue his search towards the fulfilment of his deepest desire. But the ‘short-man of the Bible’ does not say, ‘Bad luck! Today is not my day.’ He refuses to be bogged down by these impossibilities. He does not want the Lord to pass him by (Gen 18:1-33; see alsoSt Augustine). Zacchaeus runs ahead to have a glimpse of Jesus.
The sign/pointer: He climbed a sycamore tree (Lk 19:4b)
The same God who has put within us the desire to search for Him, also puts pointers on our way. There are signposts that show us which way to go so as to satisfy our thirst. But they are only signs, hence it is also easy to miss them. The Magi see a star in the east. They recognise that this is the time to go searching for the God-child. However, following human reason they end up in thepalaceofHerod: if a king is born he must be born in a palace. In any case, in due course, they correct themselves. They are able to follow the star. They are wise!
Zacchaeus sees a way out of his situation. He is able to unblock his challenges. He sees an alternative – a signpost: the sycamore tree! His situation is like the four men who went carrying a paralytic to Jesus (Mk 2:1-12). The house is crowded, and the door is blocked. They see a way out of the problem and a way in to the house: through the roof!
‘Climbing the tree’ is an act of individual will to be open to the grace of God. Since He created us as free beings, God waits for us to take that first step. “Look, I am standing at the door, knocking. If one of you hears me calling and opens the door, I will come in to share a meal at that person’s side” (Rev. 3:20).
The invitation: Zacchaeus, come down (Lk 19:5)
When we take one sincere step towards God, He comes all the way. The God of surprises goes to Zacchaeus who is now on the tree: “Zacchaeus, come down. Hurry, because I am to stay at your house today” (Lk 19:5). Jesus invites himself. To the two disciples of John the Baptist (Jn 1:39) Jesus says, “Come and see.” To the woman who comes to the well to draw water (Jn 4:7) it is Jesus – seated alone – who makes the ‘seductive’ proposition: “Give me something to drink.”
Yes, wanting to pray is an act of free will on our part to respond to the inner thirst, but what happens during prayer is His grace. We realise that he is the one, after all, who has been searching for me. Again St Augustine continues:
Lo, you were within,
but I outside, seeking there for you,
and upon the shapely things you have made
I rushed headlong – I, misshapen.
You were with me, but I was not with you.
The encounter: Jesus has gone to stay (Lk 19:7)
Zacchaeus encounters God in Jesus in the context of a meal. The meal is so significant. Meals signify fellowship, celebration and sealing of a covenant. So many gospel encounters unfold in the context of a meal: the sinner woman (Lk 7: 36-50), multiplication of loaves (Jn 6); last supper (Jn 13); the resurrection encounter (Jn 21:1-13); the two disciples on the road to Emmaus (Lk 24:13-35). Our participation in the Eucharistic meal also highlights this. At the same time, being at table with Jesus does not automatically mediate an experience of salvation. In fact, speaking about salvation Jesus once said: “Then you will start saying, “We once ate and drank in your company… but he will reply, “I do not know where you come from; away from me, all evil doers” (Lk 13:26-27). This was exemplified in the experience of many Pharisees who invited Jesus for meals (Lk 7:36-50; Lk 11:37-54; Lk 14:1ff). Nothing of know of their stories of salvation.
As for Zacchaeus, the meal becomes really an experience of salvation. He stands up to make a statement about his reaction to the encounter with Jesus.
Saving Justification: Today salvation has come (Lk 19:9)
A specific expression of conversion as a result of the encounter with Jesus is renunciation. There is a pattern of leaving behind something. “So the woman left her water jar (Jn 4:28). The Magi recognize the king in that child inBethlehem, “and falling to their knees they did him homage. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh” (Mt 2:11). Similar experiences are reported of the apostles: “At once he called them and, leaving their father Zebedee in the boat with the men he employed, they went after him” (Mk 1:20, also Mt 4:22). “When he went out after this, he noticed a tax collector, Levi by name, sitting at the tax office, and said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And leaving everything Levi got up and followed him” (Lk 5:27-28). And Zacchaeus was ready to give half of his property to the poor (Lk 19:9). He expresses charity. This is the first part of the statement. But I am more intrigued by the second part. I have a different take on the passage; you might want to pay some keen attention to it.
To me, Zacchaeus does not come out as a sinner making his confession. He does not say, “Lord, I beg your pardon that I was a real cheat. I have deceived so many people in my profession.” He seems to demand justice for himself. Here is the typical twist in the Lukan narrative. “But Zacchaeus stood his ground and said to the Lord, ‘Look, sir, I am going to give half my property to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody I will pay him back four times the amount’” (Lk 19:8). The second part of his statement begins with a conditional ‘if’: “and if I have cheated anyone….” (I have checked at least five English translations, in all of them ‘if’ is consistently used. I am not too sure what is in the original Greek, and what it could mean there.) Therefore, I would like to suggest that Zacchaeus was a victim of stereotype and prejudice. Just because he was a tax-collector he was considered a sinner (v.7). Probably this is why he was also afraid to get into the crowd when he wanted to see Jesus. But today he feels justified in the presence of Jesus. The experience of God has given him the courage to pour out his heart. “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man too is a son of Abraham.” So Salvation is not only the conversion of a sinner, but also the justification of the righteous – the vindication of the just (Rom 8:30). Zacchaeus experiences the saving justice of God. Now he does not need to be afraid of the crowds! An answer to the prayer of the psalmist, “Defend me, oh God, and plead my cause” (Ps. 43:1)!
So, for some of us, the encounter with God in the person of Jesus could mean simply experiencing the saving justice of God. It could simply mean being accepted as we are in His presence. It could just mean being reassured, “Come to me, all you who labour and are overburdened, and I will give you rest” (Mt 11:28).