Dealing with the questions of later years:
Towards the age of Maturity
A Personal Introduction
These reflections are going to be very subjective and personal. Though I will rely on insights from the findings of social sciences on later years of life, they are largely my own personal observation and reflection. Therefore, a few words about me are in place.
In the recent months I have been introducing myself with these words, and I do it yet again. One question that is becoming increasingly difficult for me to answer is, “Where do you come from?” Where do I come from? Do I come from London, where I am pursuing my graduate studies since September 2008? Or I do come from East Africa, where I lived 16 years as a young priest in a variety of contexts – six in Kenya and ten in Tanzania? Or do I come from India, where I was born and brought up, and spent the first 25 years of my life? In any case, I am grateful to God for the variety of cross-cultural experiences that I have had, and I feel I am a citizen of the world. In this series of talks I would like to bring together these cross-cultural experiences that I have been privileged to enjoy, particularly reflecting on what these cultures expect from older people, and how people live their later years in different cultural settings. I also bring together my academic training in philosophy, sociology, theology, and psychology.
Having spent 16 years in East Africa where life expectancy is a little over 50 years; and where almost 75% of the population is below the age of 30, I find myself in quite a different situation in London. Life-expectancy in the United Kingdom is almost 80 years. As a pastor and as a student of psychology I could not but develop a special interest in later years of lifelong development. But I am not alone. There is an increasing interest in the scientific study of later years. This special interest among researchers in the developed world has been necessitated by demographic reasons. It is estimated that the median age of the population in Europe will increase from 37.7 years in 2003 to 52.3 years old by 2050. In the UK, the percentage of the population over the age of 60 is expected to rise to 26% by 2020 and 38% by 2050. Globally (in 2006), just 7% of population is above the age of 65 years. Consider the estimated median age in 2008, in three countries I have lived in: Kenya – 18.8; India – 25.8; UK – 41.3 years of age. Reasonably so, there has an exponential increase in research, particularly in the last two decades, in what is called ‘gerontology’. We will integrate the findings of gerontology in our reflections.
Having been involved in the past years in a vibrant youth ministry in Africa, where over 70% of the church goers are young people, and now finding myself in churches where the pews are filled with the elderly I am faced with a new pastoral situations. When I preach in the church I need to speak loudly enough for everyone to hear, at the same time I should not be jarring in the ears of those who use hearing-aid; I should not be too long for the sake of those who suffer from incontinence, at the same time be lengthy enough for the pious people to get a satisfaction of having been to the Sunday mass; and above all, being able to meaningfully interpret the gospel for this age-group. How can we understand the phenomenon of only the elderly going to church in Europe? What are the challenges of the church in Europe in dealing with the spiritual/religious needs of the elderly? What would be the implication for the churches in the developing world, as life-expectancy is due to rise in the coming years? And I continually ask myself – what does it mean to be retired, to be elderly and to be in care-homes?
My first year in London also coincided with the last months of my own 84 year old father (who eventually passed on in June 2009. RIP). As he entered the last lap of his life, totally dependent and bed-ridden, and I being so far away trying to show my affection to him and express my support to my family that was taking care of him, I often wondered what would be going on in his mind? What would it be like, to be totally dependant – after having lived a highly independent adult life? (Perhaps the questions that I have raised are your own. In these talks we are not going to answer all these questions. Some of them cannot be answered. But we can only reflect on them.)
Search for rejuvenation and immortality
It is interesting to note, however, that human beings have always wondered about questions concerning ageing and death, perhaps because these conditions form part of an inevitable stage of human life. Siddhartha Gautama (later, the Great Buddha) was a prince. He grew up in a much protected environment. One day he decides, with his guardian, to steal an opportunity to go into the streets of their capital city. There he sees a person shivering of cold and lying in pain. Siddhartha asks his guide, ‘what is this’? And the guide reluctantly answers, ‘This is what we call, ‘sickness’, my Lord. Siddhartha’s subsequent similar encounter with ‘old age’ and ‘death’ marks the beginning of his search for enlightenment. If this is the end of human life, then there must be something more to the period prior to it. On a fine night he escapes from his palace, stealthily saying goodbye to his wife and his son as they lie fast asleep.
One of the central themes in mythology in various early civilizations is the question of ageing and death. Most cultures assume that humankind was once immortal but lost it due to its own fault. This is exemplified in the Judeo-Christian story of Adam and Eve. Similar stories are widespread even among the many peoples of Africa. The question of rejuvenation, the search for the elixir of life, and attempts to evade death, are so prevalent in all cultures in various forms. Right from the Sumerian epic of Gilgamesh (originated 5000 years ago, and written in cuneiform in 14th Century BCE), to the alchemists of 15th and 16th centuries searching for fluid gold, through the Indian myths (early part of the Vedas were composed in 15th Century BCE) of the gods and the demons attempting to churn the cosmic ocean using a mountain as the churn stick and a mighty serpent as the rope, and when the amrit (elixir) would emerge only to have the serpent spit its venom into it! The word ‘elixir’ itself is Arabic. The ‘Philosopher’s Stone’ finds its entry even in the contemporary myth of the Harry Potter series.
In a similar vein, in the Hebrew legends of heroes their life span is unrealistically exaggerated: Adam is said to have lived 930 years, Methuselah lived 969 years (Gen 5:27; longest life-span), and Noah for 950 years. But the Psalmist becomes more realistic: “The span of our life is seventy years – eighty for those who are strong – but their whole extent is anxiety and trouble, they are over in a moment and we are gone” (Ps 90:10).
From the embalmed mummies lying beneath the pyramids of Egypt to the body of Jeremy Bentham sitting at the Senate House in London, human beings have expressed their unwillingness to be defeated by death. The modern phenomenon of cosmetic plastic surgery is yet another attempt at rejuvenation. But what is true is that modern medicine and the quality of life the economic development brings about, have succeeded in increasing the longevity of life. It has redefined ‘old age’. We now talk about ‘later years’ and that itself is becoming more complex to define.
Defining ‘later years’
How do we define later years? We know what marks the end of later years. But what marks its beginning? According to biologists, ageing begins between the age of 25 and 35, when the human body generally ends its growth and begins to stabilise and the chromosomes in the cells begin to deteriorate. This is called cellular senescence. This can be aggravated by stress, chronic health conditions, and other elements in the socio-physical environment. I knew I had stopped ‘growing’ when I was not throwing away my trousers every 5 to 7 months! That was around the age of 28.
In another sense, does retirement mark the beginning of ageing? In most countries people retire merely from a job at around 65. In some professions that have stringent physical and mental requirements this could be much earlier (like in the military or being an airline pilot). We know well how this marks the beginning of a new life, and even a new career, for many people. Some go back to school. I had one such student in a critical thinking class that I was teaching in Nairobi, in 2003. And several of my fellow students in M.A Psychology of Religion course in London were retired. In short, ageing is relative. Therefore, we talk about characteristics of later years, rather than definite age. These characteristics are best described by several models of human development presented by traditional cultures and contemporary scholars.
Stage models of understanding human development
The Indian ethical tradition describes (and prescribes) the human life in four stages: Bramahcharya (student life until 24 years of age), Grihasta (householder, from 25 to 49), Vanaprastha (gradual withdrawal, 50 to 69 years), and Sannyasa (withdrawal from the world and dedication to the spiritual pursuit). I saw my Christian parents, especially my father, live through a contemporary version of these four stages. Similar parallel models are available in Western literature. Shakespeare in As You Like it (II, vii,139) talks about the seven stages: “And one man in his time plays many parts/His acts being seven ages.” He goes on to describe lifespan development in seven stages: (1) infancy; (2) early childhood, (3) adolescence (4) young adult, (5) middle age, (6) old age, (7) senility. On a more serious note, psychologists and social scientists have proposed different models of understanding the human development in stages: Psychosexual development (Freud), Psychosocial development (Erik Erikson), cognitive development (Piaget), moral development (Kohlberg), and faith development (Fowler). We will integrate some of their insights in our reflections. Our main concern will be the later stages of human growth.
However, one of the negative aspects of understanding human growth in stage models is the temptation to equate it with the process of metamorphosis. For instance, butterfly has four distinct stages in its development – egg, caterpillar, pupa and adult. What is appealing about these stages is its predictability. The stages in the development of butterfly proceed always in one direction. True, human development resembles this in some aspects. For instance, an infant will always begin to crawl before she can walk! However, the same could not be said about the psychological, emotional, moral, and spiritual growth of human individuals. It is this aspect that makes our reflection about later years interesting and even necessary. Human development has a sense of suspense and mystery. Therefore, I hope, these reflections will be of some help in understanding ourselves. We will particularly focus on three dimensions of later years: the cognitive aspect leading to wisdom, the socio-emotional aspect leading to altruism, and the spiritual dimension leading to transcendence.
During the preparation of these talks often I asked myself: is there anything new that I could be saying to my wise and elderly listeners? Perhaps not. But surely these reflections might give shape to your own thoughts and insights. In any case they have given me an opportunity to begin preparing for my later years.
(c) Sahaya G. Selvam, December 2009